Friday, June 20, 2014

I Quit...Again?

Here's a post I wrote more that 3 years ago. It, all by itself, decided to jump the queue and head to the front of the line, so I'm giving it it's day in the spotlight. Again. Enjoy:

March 17th, 2011 

Dear Sirs/Madams,

While I fully appreciate the great distinctions you have bestowed upon me in these last 23 years of life-consuming and life-altering employment, I would like to officially tender my resignation from the positions of:

Chief Decision-Maker (CDM),

Chief Lunch-Packer (CLP)
Chief Cheerleader (CC),
Chief Getter-Upper-In-The-Nighter (CGUINT),
and finally, but not exclusively, Chief Head Whine Reducer, General Referee, and occasional Short-Order Cook (CHWR, GR, and SOC). 

While I have been thoroughly honored to have possessed the positions of CDM, CLP, CC, CGUINT,  CHWR, GR, and SOC simultaneously, I might add, I feel, Sirs and Madams, that to preserve my sanity, sense of self, libido, and baby-soft hands (earned from years of dishwashing in Palmolive),  I must humbly and immediately relinquish my positions.

I wish to thank you for the years and years and years of experience I've gained, and, while feeling somewhat maudlin at our parting, I feel confident that I have given my all, and that you have, without reservation, taken it (leaving me bereft of taut skin, a sense of humour, my finely ground-down back molars, and/or any or all sex appeal).

Finally, upon my leave taking, I would like to wish you all the best in your future endeavors. 

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